New Nicknames

Athletes and their nicknames has always been something I particularly liked. Nicknames are fun and interesting and imaginative. For the purpose of this blog post, I thought it'd be amusing to come up with some nicknames for athletes who either don't have a nickname or their existing nickname is rather lousy.

So, without any further delay here are some nicknames that I've come up with. Enjoy.

Derrick Rose: "The Florist"

I have to give credit to Williams for coming up with this one actually. It's definitely one of the cheekier nicknames and one of my favorites without question. The Florist - it gets me every time. It's so perfect, the #1 is shaped like a rose in a sense, the Bulls are red, and Derrick Rose is a signature franchise player much like a rose is a signature flower. Could it be any more beautiful?

The Bulls star has a rose tattooed on his right hand

 

Peyton Manning: "Patient Manning"

Manning loves to analyze the defense and put his team in the best situation possible to be successful on every play. What's funny is although Manning is patient, he is also like a doctor, surgically dissecting every opponent. Be sure to check out this YouTube video to get a sense of Manning's play calls and audibles on the field.

Check out this video, it's unreal.

Dwyane Wade: "Dwayne Wade" or "Flyash"

Depending how you look at it, Dwyane Wade should really be Dwayne Wade. Crazy huh? His common nickname is "Flash" but it isn't in correspondence with the way his real name is spelled. If we're going with Flash shouldn't it be spelled F-L-Y-A-S-H?

Dwyane Wade's "Flash" pool

Tim Tebow: "The Bow"

I mean this in the best way possible: if Jesus Christ was God's gift to Earth then Tim Tebow is either the wrapping paper or like we have here, "The Bow." In all seriousness though, Tebow is a genuine role model and example to all ages on how to work hard and have a positive attitude, not only in sports, but in life. "The Bow" is now with the New York Jets trying to earn his way after a remarkable college career at the University of Florida winning 2 National Championships and a Heisman Trophy.

"The Bow" Tebowing

Derek Fisher: "The Fossil"

Despite being an absolute beast in the weightroom Derek Fisher needed to retire five years ago. He's 37 years-old and if it weren't for the Derrick Rose Adidas 9.8 ounce shoe, Fisher would be slower than he already is. Sorry Fish, you should have been wearing a suit and holding a clipboard for Phil once you came back to the Lakers in 2007. Yes everybody, he came back to the Lakers in 2007 before leaving the team in 2004 for the Golden State Warriors because he wasn't happy with his playing time in Los Angeles. If you weren't happy, get better or retire, that simple.

Two steps too slow and five years too old

Ray Lewis: "Swag Lew"

When Ray-Ray was at the University of Miami he turned the "U" into a household name after deeming Miami as "Swag U." So, it's only fitting that he carries that legacy with him. Having played his entire NFL career with the Baltimore Ravens, Lewis has anchored their defense for over a decade earning a Super Bowl championship and Superbowl MVP in 2000. Lewis is one of the most feared defensive players of all time and will be inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame after retiring. Ray Lewis is "Swag Lew."

Lewis at the University of Miami

Lewis with the Baltimore Ravens

Josh Hamilton: "The Resurrected One"

Josh Hamilton's story is well-documented. His path to being one of the best baseball players in the game did not come easy. Hamilton had to overcome losing his parents, drugs, and alcohol to revive his major league career and more importantly, his life. It's only fitting that his nickname parallel's biblical history as Hamilton has relied on his faith in God to rid his most troubling demons. After just 48 games this season, Hamilton is hitting .366 with 21 HR and 57 RBI.

The Resurrected One - Josh Hamilton

Mark Sanchez: "Sancheezy"

Mark Sanchez throws a lot of interceptions. But, since he plays for a defense-dominant team and a franchise who invested a lot of money in him, he isn't going anywhere or taking a pay cut any time soon. Hence, "Sancheezy" - no matter how bad he does he's still making that cheese (that's money in English). Apparently the guy is also a hit with the ladies so Sancheezy is just living the dream, and throwing to the other team.

It's all smiles for the California kid in his New York state of mind.

Justin Verlander: "Fungus" or "Too Nasty"

Justin Verlander is so nasty he's too nasty. With two no-hitters, a Cy Young Award, a MVP, and the most disgusting pitch repertoire in the game, Verlander is arguably the best pitcher in the major leagues. The word "Fungus" in itself sounds disturbing but imagine having to face Justin Verlander, it's about as unpleasant as it gets. Whether it's "Fungus" or "Too Nasty," it's not something that sounds all that enjoyable to be going up against.

Fungus is too nasty

I'm taking off, you take it easy.

Bisq